This past weekend was spent doing work I enjoy. On Saturday we went and heard an hour lecture about the blues. The speaker is a composer-in-resident at the University of Nebraska (Lincoln) and impressively knowledgeable on not only the musical aspects, but also social, psychological and lyrical/poetic facets of "the blues." The lecture was far too short, of course, to really delve much into the topic. Much of it had to do with influences...which, while interesting, is an area in which I basically knew everything he was saying. Still, I could have sat longer and listened to blues songs and most of what specific forms influenced on down the line...we only got a few down the list and its corresponding mix tape. The Q&A session was all right, though bogged down a little by some little old ladies who were obviously piano teachers and wanting to show off to this composer that they knew music terminology but didn't really quite grasp the concept of "blue notes" and the idea that notes and time signatures weren't necessarily paid much attention by early early country blues singers. I actually thought of a really good question about 5 minutes after we left....too bad.

A question on the Cafe forums really got me thinking. Someone started a thread asking "who was your worst boy/girlfriend?" Tough question, really, and not one I really want to think about. No way was/am I going to post any kind of response on the thread, considering 2 of the 3 women (not counting my wife S, who doesn't go on the board much anyway) I dated still read and post at the board. The question won't go away, though, and while it's not disturbing or troubling me, for some reason it's pinging around in my head now and then the past few days. The truth is, former girlfriends have each had problematic aspects, it's true, as have I. However, the two who are still on the board have both grown up and matured quite a bit in the time since we dated. More importantly, we've talked and forgiven and re-friended since, and I think that says a lot more than anything that happened 5+ years ago or 2 1/2 - 3 years ago. People go through troubling phases, or behave certain ways around people they know they can trust, especially within somewhat stressful contexts. It happens. The one who I've not heard from or seen since a week or so after we broke up, the Russian ex-girlfriend, is by far the relationship I come closest to regretting...while that relationship lacked crazy freak-out stories and looked "normal" to everyone until the very end, it was also the one relationship that could have most damaged me, and I thank God it really didn't all that much. I think I was the most misled in my own head about that one, really, and believed a lot of absolute crap that I peddled to myself...not only about why I was in the relationship, and what that meant, but also about our ability to relate and be combatible. Just because you both like to talk and go to the same type of Church and live in the same area and enjoy a couple other "things," that does not compatability make. I could justify why my idea of combatability was skewed to think that physical attraction without constant big problems equaled "made for each other," but that's a path best not trod, part of the past. Suffice it to say that in the end, perhaps the worst former boy/girlfriend is the one who, without any real overtly obvious issues to overcome, allows a person to think what isn't true, manipulates both the facts and the other person, and uses religion as a tool more than anything else. Deceit trumps all else...and lest I point the finger and shift all blame, self-deceit is no better, intentional or not.

Only a week from the first televised Cubs Spring Training game. I'm taking the whole day off...not just for that (Opening Day, maybe, but not a spring training game), but because I feel the need coming for an extra day's break. My sanity seems to be on the link and the three weeks starting the day after that promise to be the busiest this semester: while "spring break" (which consists of not having my two night classes) runs the 14-18, that's the Orthodox first week of Lent...so plenty of things to keep me busy then...plus we're hosting a couple students for a couple/few days in town working with Habitat for Humanity...and the week after that, I judge an oratory competition, co-facilitate a class, and have an oral presentation due in the other class. I'll probably need another day off after that!Anyway...time for lunch.