This entry gets posted without the benefit of coherence. I start it with about twenty minutes before work starts (which means 7:40) and without having taken a first sip of coffee.

I'm already tired of this semester and it's only the first day of it. I spent a portion of last night job searching and there's absolutely nothing out there that I'm both qualified for and even slightly interested in. I guess this is why we start when we still have a job.

Yesterday and today I've had some dizziness issues. This morning I lay in bed and felt as if I were floating, but uncontrollably. That makes coffee this morning probably a bad idea, but the way things feel, I may as well call in sick if coffee can't happen...I feel disoriented and lost. I drink at least one 32 oz cup of water a day, usually more, the days I'm at work...hopefully that takes care of it. S and I carpooled, anyway, so it's too late. She's quite excited about her classes. Today's is something about sexual development, I'm not sure...she just signed up for it over the weekend. I'll probably go find the book(s) for the class over lunchtime. Michial starts classes today, as well...we have one class together, Wednesday night, the intro class all English Graduate students must take early on. I really like that class' professor (who also is the English Grad program chair) and am happy to be learning from her again.

The psalter reading for this morning includes Psalm 51. Reading/chanting that always makes me feel good/better. Sure, it's a bit of a downer at first glance. I mean, King David did a terrible thing and horrible consequences occurred. Perhaps some would take solace in thinking, "Well, see, I've never done anything that bad!" For me, though, the psalm is incredible on a couple levels. First of all, because it's testament to the human ability to mix with grace and actually repent, be sorrowful for our misdoings, pray for forgiveness. We're able to change. We're able to see the wrongness of our actions and thoughts and at least try to put those behind us and get past that. I don't see a whole lot of that going on in the world, and no doubt David (and Nathan) didn't either. So much of the mass is dedicated to repentance and asking for forgiveness, and I often chant, read or whatever, trucking on through it without really savoring it or fully getting what I'm doing. The psalm shows us that we are capable of more, of understanding our own wrongdoing and striving for better. It also reminds me of the fact that were it not for God's grace and patience and working with us, the psalm would have no place. David wouldn't be writing the psalm were there no hope of forgiveness, and that shows us all that we have that same hope.

Anyway, that was terribly spur of the moment rambling, I realize, and it's after 8 and I've done a few opening duties but still without any sort of mental cohesion, if that makes sense. I'm planning to go do bookstore inventory (or at least part of it) while Stacey's in class tonight, I'll have about an hour, at least. This could be a very long day. I don't have any classes that end after 9 this semester, but both go past 8pm, one until 8:40. I just hope I can do it. This morning I'm barely capable of tying my shoe and making coffee.

Then again, I live in a country where "Meet the Fockers" has been the most attended movie for three weeks in a row now. Maybe I'm just slowly ascending into management material.