I feel a bit more bubbling up inside me to mention regarding "relationship type stuff"....

I'm not going to go into my "relationship history" here, because people who read this know one or more of my former girlfriends, and whatever has happened in the past, no matter how lousy or screwed up, no matter how wronged I was, I still respect their rights to privacy. Suffice it to say that in the 3 I've been in, the following have been true (though in different ways and to different degrees:
--I've given way more than received. That goes in pretty much any direction. I tend to be non-confronational, compromising, negotiating, accomodating, overly patient, and cautious as to not be hurtful. I say that not necessarily to say "look how great I am," because I struggle with doing those things too much in situations I shouldn't. There are times when being more assertive and less flexible would probably have served the relationship better.
--I have loved more than I've been loved back. I have documented proof of this with one relationship--I knew this before the relationship was over and found out more about it later. In another relationship, the real reason for it ending is proof enough. In the most recent endeavor...the way in which it ended tells me quite a bit, and throughout the relationship I realized this was the case. I really shouldn't elaborate but I have no doubt. Reading up on my personality, I realize this isn't terribly unusual and that makes me feel a bit better about the whole thing.
--(in just two of them) It's moved way too fast. This isn't just my usual cautious self talking, this is objectively looking at things. I'm talking more than just physically, though that's been part of it. I'm talking emotionally, commitmentwise, how serious it's gotten within a certain amount of time.

I'm starting to get tired, so hopefully this won't lose sense.
I'm realizing that if there's a next go-round (I'm open to the fact that there might not be and that there's no shame or anything wrong with that), I should keep certain things in mind. It needs to just start slowly, just be a good friendship that grows. Maybe we'll know, while friends, that one or both is interested in more. Maybe not. Either way, I just want to ease into it. Yes, it's nice to think that you're investing time and emotion into a sure thing, so sometimes it's easy to overcommit way too quickly--but realistically, love doesn't happen without risk. To have faith and trust in someone else is to risk a bit sometimes. I have learned that perhaps more faith and trust can be built when two people can be friends and enjoy each other and have feelings without feeling they have to get a verbal agreement from each other as early as possible. I have several friends who have gone about things this way and it's just wiser, at least for me and who I am.
At this point, too, because of what has happened, I know that I probably have "commitment problems" for a while. This doesn't mean I'll go do anything with anyone with no thought for their feelings, of course not--it just means that I'm not interested in being burnt from having moved too quickly or trusted too much too early (because we've both demanded it). In some ways, it would almost be better to have things be "long-distance" for a while if anything were to really start up...just to help make sure things stay at a pace that's healthy. Not that I highly recommend that sort of thing, but if you're not in a position to move to fast, it may not be so bad. I don't know. Maybe I'm just rambling now. Let me collect myself. :-)
Anyway, I'm at an interesting point in life. We all know I'm 25 and that sort of thing. Right now I'm in a not-so-great financial position, don't have that great of a job but it let's me go to school. I'm a year and a half or two years away from getting my bachelor's degree (due to a recent change in what's accepted with transfers, I'm a bit closer and need to go rehash the numbers with an advisor soon). Once I have the degree, I'm not sure what will happen. In some ways, I'd really like to move back to my "home" area for a little while, maybe even just a year or so. Right now I'm in a transitional period (albeit one that has followed a couple other transitional periods, so to speak) and it's unfair and irresponsible to make a serious commitment to be at a specific place for a specific time; this isn't about me being a free spirit or wanting to run around and do what I want, it's about allowing myself to be open to what God has next.
Of course I'm able to have a "significant other" or girlfriend or whatever in-between...
It isn't about "casual sexuality" (meaning not just sex itself but general physical elements) without commitment...that sort of thing is great and I miss it, but I'm willing to accept the fact that it may not be a part of my life for a while--even if i were to start an "interested friends" type relationship, even if that were a part of it, i think there would just need to be an understanding that developing the friendship would need to be the major, most important thing.
I think that a common situation (to be gentle about it) for young Christians is that they do rush things, they do end up going way too fast, they do emphasize commitment without balance, without developing a great friendship first. The reasons for that are a few and I don't have time to get into those "why" things tonight, but it's true. However, I've realized that I'm 25 and still not so old that I need to hurry into something. Whenever I get involved to a very serious committed degree again, I want to spend the rest of my life with someone, and that's worth all the risk to spend a lot of time to get to know her first...and if getting to know a few people and making some friends who yes, we may admit mutual interest, but eventually who don't end up being right for that sort of thing, then hey, I've made some friends without making lives complicated.

Anyway, that was long but hopefully at least somewhat coherent. I really needed to get that written somewhere and not just bouncing in my head.