Distracted Blues

Distractions Galore!

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

After lunch I went into the big bathroom on our floor and was taking part in a very healthy ritual when I heard heavy breathing coming from the middle stall. At first I just figured someone obese was in there working hard. It happens and while I don't like to think about it, there's no sense hiding from reality. I think most people take the same approach to public restrooms as they do to hooking up with "easy" people in a bar. You know that the fact that something is so readily accessible to you means it's been used quite often before and most likely uncomfortably recently, but you just put down the toilet paper and try not to think about it. However, my logic tells me that yes, we have unhealthily overweight people here and (odds are) they need to use the stalls too, so I generally block the heavy breathing out of my mind and think about the most recent episode of Joe Millionaire or something else slightly (and i mean VERY slightly) less disturbing--I try to keep from thinking of anything too terribly pleasant while in the restroom because otherwise I'll find myself too comfortable standing or sitting there. This guy, however, was not just your normal heavy breather. In fact, as I listened it become apparent that this wasn't heavy breathing, it was snoring. That's right, someone was in sleeping on the toilet. I was considering pulling a stunt from junior high--when we would take a few sopping wet paper towels and lob them into occupied stalls--but someone else walked in and ruined my fun.

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