"i once had a dream, so i packed up and split for the city. i soon found out that my lonely life wasn't too pretty." --from Pet Sounds
don't worry, this isn't going to be one more whine amongst those that make up the angst-filled blog community. it just really hit me as a great couple of lines that yes, do somewhat fit me...but it still is better than how it was, and i'm glad i'm here.
i realize it's been a couple weeks since i updated this blog...work has had me busy, though not necessarily less reflective. it was just better i reflect even more privately than this, i suppose.
Work is actually going quite well. everyone there is kind and patient with me and i feel as if i'm learning and doing fairly well. hopefully i'll be aware when i'm not, or will be made to be aware mercifully.
another pertinent line:
"the poor cook, he got the fits and threw away all of my grits."
or....maybe not.
anyway...there's a lot going on inside me right now. i have no idea who (if anyone) reads this, especially after a couple weeks of nothing...but it's almost as if i feel called to not verbalize things so much right now. while sometimes, many times...it's therepeutic, meaningful, and something i learn more about myself from, right now i feel as if i'm supposed to just mull and chew and contemplate over things. i'm not so sure how to describe anything right now, anyway...so it's better i not try and end up confusing anyone who would read this and feel affronted or unappreciated.

in other news...
i feel ready to love, yet so far from it. for a long time, i felt as if i were not ready to love after "the big nasty breakup" or whatever. and yes...i still have much to learn, no doubt about it...but i feel as if i'm healthy enough and have God's go-ahead, were the situation to come up. of course, other than about 3 friends in the area who aren't really people i could end up in a serious relationship with, i know no females "within range." not at work, not at church, not really anywhere. i'm not exactly doing a whole lot socially, either... so either this person is someone who isn't living around here, or i'm blind, or something crazy and miraculous (though isn't that always how it happens, in essence?) will happen. or, you know...all three. don't get me wrong...i'm in no hurry, and certainly my circumstances aren't the most conducive, but i guess i'm just saying. who knows...who cares...

anyway, i'm drinking ginger ale and it actually is helping with the heartburn, which seems to be what happens when i drink 3 cups of coffee and have just a little food today. maybe i'll be hungry soon.

well, for the kids who read this...sorry it was boring and probably redundant (with my memory, i may have posted very similar stuff 3 weeks ago and don't have the thought to go back and look before writing it) and of absolutely no entertainment value whatsoever.

you're not cheated or ripped off if you paid nothing to watch.......