i really feel the urge, the need to write tonight. but my mind won't focus.

seth says to write about the alphabet.

the alphabet is nice.
i doubt many people remember the exact moment it all clicked and they knew the alphabet, had it memorized. yet almost all of us just know it. almost every person who speaks english and is of a certain age did have a specific time when there it was, in his mind, the alphabet.
somehow it's always in the back of my mind.
it's there through deaths, through my favorite bands breaking up, through broken or non-happening romantic relationships, through the Cubs losing, through terrorism, through moving and finding a job, through everything...those ABC's.
i want to be a writer. i do write, but have no objectivity when looking at my own work and rarely do i know if i'm even coherent, much less decent. whatever thoughts form in my head, though, they're strained through the colander that is the alphabet. abstract opinions, stories, and ideas only truly defined within my mind become packaged in neat little boxes using one of twenty-six letters, with the occasional punctuation for further expressiveness. all my heartbreak, all my dreams, my faith, every last thing that separates me from a plant, animal, or sofa must choose some amalgamation of The Twenty-Six in order to be known.
perhaps i can write. i'm told i can. perhaps i can write well. i hope to. perhaps if i pray to the Patron Saint of the Twenty-Six, somehow a thought here and there will shape them into something good.