hi.

heard from carter. hopefully will talk on the phone with him soon.

less than a week left on the "no coffee" thing.

so hey...i'm stuck, more like torn...in the middle here.
on one hand...i love the Orthodox Church. i have so far to go and there's so much within me that needs (and God willing will be) purged...but i'm discovering my path and for the first time in years, actually care about christianity again. i'm finding meaning finally. this is where i'm supposed to be and where i want to be.
on the other hand...i'm totally repulsed by "christians" in general. the people at my church are actually really great...we're a small church, really friendly...but christians in general are just, well, sickening. and i'm tired of the struggle. i'm just so sick of dealing with them...and can feel that most of christianity is of detriment for me to even be around. anyway...it makes me sad...and pissed...how i'm treated, how carole's treated, how others i know are treated...it's just wrong and so far away from what Christ taught and lived. anyway...my heart is really broken now...and thank God i found what i did in my church or i'd have given up by now.

joel